dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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