Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Randomize
