I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I supernannyed him into submission
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
