i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
