ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
