oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
