I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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