Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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