Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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