Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
True college students do jello shots in the library
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
