Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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