I'm so fucking centered right now
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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