I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
