some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
