the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
