It's Friday. Sex?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
my being single is dangerous.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Randomize
