once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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