if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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