Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
