My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
