my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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