guys are not supposed to queef...right?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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