return my video game
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize