And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
