This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
