Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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