There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
