We need to rekindle our bromance
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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