i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
