My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
