We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
