Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
