if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize