he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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