Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
