that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
