I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
