Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
