Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
pray to the hookup gods
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
