does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
