and you said cock pushups were impossible
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
