Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
