super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
