Apparently you make a good broom.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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