It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
