The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Randomize
