Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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