real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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