You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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