i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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