I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
