Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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