That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Terrible idea I love it
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
