So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
