I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
