You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
