I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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