I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
