You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
