We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
