Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
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